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Mental Masterbation
Playing with Chains of Illusions
I am NOT Paying Attention

I am NOT Paying Attention  Mon, Oct 21 2002  

It was maybe 20 years ago, when teachers were teachers and not psychologists. I didn't know that you could read a couple of pamphlets from a drug company and become an expert in identifying ADD or (I don't want to teach I want zombie) student. Where did this crock come from. Children are learning to explore the world. They are not supposed to have the attention and concentration levels of adults. Afterall this is a learned event. Besides, I probably wouldn't want the attention span of most adults. Think about the male of the human species that sits in front of the idiot box (tv for short) and constantly channel surfs. Where's the attention here. Quick let's get a pamphlet and a marriage counselor and diagnose the majority of the male population as having ADD. Perhaps this explains how people drive their cars. It really is just insulting for a teacher, trained to teach to become a clinical pyschologist with the power to say whether your child is an ADD candidate.

Just think about it. You are sitting in a meeting that is absolutely boring. Does your mind wander? Are you half listening? Do you sit there thinking why am I in this meeting when there are 100's of problems that I need to fix. And guess what you begin thinking about those problems. It seems that you are suffering from ADD. Quit instead of investing in hi-tech stocks, invest in the drug companies and let the teachers make your child brain dead. This isn't funny, it's pathetic.

posted by Me | 11:41:55 PM

It came from the universe where I got to sit and listen to 20 somethings talk, and to hear things that have echoed in my life from long ago. It reminded me of the freshness of spirit that I once had before I got older and wiser (hehe). My life has become a series of introspections and yet life is out there and they reminded me what it is like just to sit and laugh and to be good story tellers for the shear reason of telling a story and not to create some deep and often esoteric meaning that really I only understand. I learned a great deal last night, but mostly upon introspection (here I go again, why am I privileged to be on Maslow's hierarchy) is that sometimes face value is all that matters, I guess what I am trying to say is, it is the moment that counts and not the reason. Afterall when things happen, they don't happen for a reason, we search for the reason afterwards just to be funny.

posted by Me | 11:41:30 PM

So why do people go onto the Springer show. Is it their 15 minutes of fame (after all, if this hour has 22 minutes then they get about 8 minutes of fame). I could fill a whole blog with things that I could make up that are funny, insulting, rude or downright ignorant, yet I think that this is just another example of "still life" on celluoid. There is a certain artistry to the Springer show, in the foreground you have people who are obviously who they say they are (but lie to themselves). Yet in the background (the audience) you have people who are just one step away from being the people on stage. And the viewing audience is saying thank GOD this is not me. I am better than this. So for us, the audience it is our chance to be superior in a world where we are just average and of course we need to feel superior in a world where we are becoming clones of each other. If you think I am wrong, just go to your clothes closet and look for your pair of Nike shoes, your designer Gucci handbag (or knockoff) , your Tommy Hilfigger underwear and of course your whole section of Burberry patterned stuff. So now that you've taken an inventory, how average are you. Who's drum are you walking to (your own) or some brand label that you think defines who you are.

So yes, I have 3 pairs of Nikes (Air Jordans in its many different flavors-gee these make me jump higher), I don't have a Gucci bag, but I got the watch and of course I have the TH socks or before I forget (I use it so little now) I have the Mont Blanc pen (maybe this pen is too average, afterall I can buy it at the Office Depot). So like every one else I am marching to someone's drum, just not my own. Geez I'm rambling. Time to stop before this entry turns into real still life on a digital screen.

posted by Me | 11:39:42 PM

So I'm sitting hear watching the Rosie show and a woman is thanking Rosie for flying her down to the show. It seems that this woman was close to death. And through the grace of her "GOD" she was spared so that she could be on the Rosie show (this is real "funny"). And better yet at her deathbed, her mother of 83 years prayed to GOD to take her instead of her daughter's. I didn't know that GOD served the purposes of the individuals, and better yet I did not think that GOD actual had a head count on the number of souls that are let into heaven (a very christian ethos, don't forget there are only so many places-maybe 10-on the bus to heaven and the more souls you save here guarantees you seat ). In fact I did not know that GOD would sacrifice one person for another (I thought this type of trade was for some other dark entity). Was the mother of the dieing(sp?) daughter will to make the ultimate sacrifice of her own life so that her daughter could live. Maybe? I think the mother made the choice that she did not want to suffer the loss of her daughter and suffer the human pain and grief.

So if it truly is a sin to take someone's life, would it not also be a sin for GOD to take someone's life. Don't we die because we have chosen to die, or we have experienced what we are supposed to and we chose our exit point. It's just funny how life is. Oh ya and here's another thing once I think about it, GOD is all seeing, all knowing and all powerful bascially omni-everthing. So how is it that GOD can lose in the battles between heaven, (purgatory) and hell. An entity that is omni-everything would not worry, care or give a rat's ass about anything like soul-count.

Maybe in the end the whole world is a funny place to live.

posted by Me | 11:37:45 PM

No things don't happen for a reason. Things just happen and I look for reasons afterwards, perhaps to justify my experience/existence. Maybe just maybe living is about moments of experiences and how we deal with them. To me Zen is the level that one strives to attain. Yet you only know you have attained this level when you are there. So if I ask the question, have I attained a level of peace and tranquility, I guess I have not attained the Zen level of the masters. So I still wait to hear the sound of the one arm clap. And when I hear it I know I have attained this level. I need to find a guide to practice, which is the path to the Zen masters. Again living is about experiences and moments, once the moments are over they no longer exist.

posted by Me | 11:37:19 PM

I now have a reason to live. I found out why I channel surf and it has nothing to do with an attention deficit disorder which I am constantly being accused of. It has nothing to do with the human genome or anything that I thought was nature. It's all about nurture. Way back in the hunting and gathering days, the male of the species was responsible for constantly surveying his surroundings and looking for food or threats. The female of the community was responsible for organizing and gathering all the stuff that was important to the community. She would have to pick up everything at a moments notice and move to another location.

It's present day and I sit down comfortably in front of the TV and begin hunting and looking for the appropriate prey which happens to be a football game. I go to the next football game, because my prey isn't doing anything (a TV commercial) and see if the next prey (next football game) is more appetizing. My other half comes in and starts talking to me (all while I am hunting) so I ask, where is the such and such. The response is, "it's in the top left hand drawer where it's alway been", OK could you get it for me. Small victory, the prey won't be scared away and I can devote my full attention to surveying my surrounding. I am slightly distracted and slightly annoyed but immediately begin to click to the next football game, next football game, next football game, all in a matter of seconds. I've decided that I need to sharpen my skills to make sure the surroundings are safe to the sake of the community at large, got to make up for lost time.

I know that there is a funny moment in here somewhere, but my nurture just stops me from seeing it.

posted by Me | 11:35:48 PM

I always thought that advertising was meant to induce sales and marketing was to create a position in the consumer's/sheep's mind. So what I am trying to figuring out is how the current TV ads induce someone to buy and how do the companies actually track their ROI. I guess since we are the feeling generation (look at Maslow's hierarchy for our North American Society-most of us are in the self-actualization of life), advertisements are supposed to give us a feeling, not a reason to buy. Is it because there is a certain amount of attention deficit or we have all learned to tune out the white noise and the only way to get our attention is through something shocking yet unrelated. How many of you have seen a commercial and remembered the commercial and not remembered the product sponsor. So is this just wasted bandwidth?

As the masters of tested advertising taught us (which we have forgot) that we respond to sex, greed, fear and honor. Which can be further broken down to healthcare, money, self-improvement, marriage, get ahead, child care and popularity. I think that I am being insulted by advertisers who just want me to bleet and become a sweater that everyone else is wearing and I am astonished at the amount of useless advertising and money wasted. How does this happen, well let's see. I am going to pretend to sit in a meeting where your next advertising campaign is going to be released to the eagerly awaiting JQ Public.

I see what the ad agency has presented and they ask for my opinion which counts alot since I am footing the bill. So I say, you know I like the ad with the redhead, it gives me that passionate feeling. I really don't like the blond, it reminds me too much of the california lifestyle and I don't think that the brunette will attract enough attention. Great the ad agency says, let's go with the redhead. Well look what just happened, I have just imposed my tastes on a campaign that is going to directly affect the bottom-line of my company. This is like buying a stock on a feeling "I just know that it going to do well" and I lose my shirt on a feeling. If I hold onto the stock long enough it will comeback. So the "redhead ads" didn't do very well, no increase to the bottom line. But how would I know anyway, since the pull for the ad has no mechanism to test response. So I call the ad agency back in and say, the ad hasn't helped us. And the answer is "it just takes time" to build a position in the consumer's mind. Maybe we should do a series of ads.

Now I need to be right so I go with the idea and now I am just being FUNNY.

We all have our funny moments, but in the end someone pays and it's generally us.

posted by Me | 11:32:41 PM

I think I learned to do this when I was a young lad. It was from watching too much TV. It's difficult to say why this happened, but it did. Could it have been because I missed Woodstock, no I didn't even have a personality, just an infused cultural bias to North America. Oh how I needed to be same as everyone else. But the fact is in a visual sense I was different. I learned at a very young age to tell myself lies and still continue to do it to this very day. I call it being funny. And are there alot of funny people out there. If you don't know what I mean, think about this I am almost sure you have experienced this sometime in your life (if you are young enough). This really only started to happen when the layaway plan changed into have it now and pay for it later.

I'm shopping for CD player and have found the exact model with all the features which I have convinced myself are really benefits (this piece of electronics is sure going to make me happy-this is funny #1). I'll wait though, its around Christmas and prices are always higher. Boxing Day arrives and it's on sales as I knew it would be. The gods have smiled on me, now my life will almost be complete (still funny #1). So I go down to your "Buy From Us Today and You Are Our Best Friend" cheapie electronics (we'll forget who you are tomorrow-warranty what warranty) store. I am going to save over 50 bucks. So I head down to my Best Friend and buy the saviour of my life. There it is taxes in and a savings of $62.58. What a deal, I might as well go and pick up some music CD's since I have an extra 63 bucks (funny #2). I found all those Woodstock hits that I was looking for and it cost me less than ordering from Time (I am a megacorporation) Warner/AOL. I only spent the $63 that I had saved by waiting for a boxing day sale. So I actually got the CD's for free. (funny #3)

The fact is I didn't save any money because my bank account is now minus $200.43. In fact the CD player did not change my life at all.

So I guess I'm just funny.

posted by Me | 11:32:12 PM